I was one of the lucky ones who attempt suicide. I received a miracle, a divine intervention that saved my life. At the time I didn't understand why, I just felt like a failure and made two other futile attempts on this night 30 years ago.
I know what it feels like to feel worthless, hopeless and helpless. This side of 30 years, I also see the value of my life and how many lives would not exist nor be on their path to healing, without the interception with my life. I see two special lives that God allowed me to birth, and they will leave a huge fingerprint on humanity. I have a precious soulmate in my husband, that would never have known the closeness and intimacy we share. I founded an organization, VOICE TODAY (www.voicetoday.org) that is working diligently to break the silence & cycle of child sexual abuse through awareness, prevention and healing programs and resources. In my broken desperation 30 years ago I could not see into the future, and I see now had I succeeded what a selfish act that would have been.
God has a purpose and plan for my life that only I can accomplish. Many can take up the torch of child sexual abuse awareness, prevention and healing but only I can do it like Angela Williams, with my specially created gifts, talents and fingerprint. God has a purpose and a plan for your life. God had a purpose for my life for nothing else to reach you today to say there is a better way. There is ALWAYS hope even if we are blinded to it, and it may be just crying out to God to show you the direction of the light of hope.
My pain was rooted in 14 years of verbal, physical, emotional and sexual abuse iced with abandonment and neglect. I don't know the root of your pain but I do know that we serve a powerful and mighty God that loves you deeply and has created you for greatness I know that my life was spared for a reason, to stand in the gap with all those that are hurting so deeply and tell them that they deserve to live. Not just live but to live the life God created them for; full of love, passion, purpose and peace. My prayer for you today is that you find hope and healing on a path to freedom. I pray that you will be freed from any self destructive thoughts or behaviors.
That path may include professional help, a spiritual experience, a friend or family member to encourage and support your healing journey. Our journeys are all different. I pray that you reach out from your isolation and find your VOICE to tell whoever is in your world, that you need help and share any thoughts or plans of suicide. I promise you that those thoughts are not the answer. The answer is to believe that the pain you feel can and will heal.
Bless you and my prayers are with you.