There is a culture of silence surrounding the issue of child sexual abuse. I founded VOICE Today to be an organization that promotes courage to speak up and speak out about the issue. We will never protect children nor will we ever heal from the wounds of sexual abuse in the darkness and silence. So today we look at the power behind the silence.
I believe we are living in a time when the world is more and more desensitized to sexual issues. We are bombarded by pornography and sexual perversion in media, the entertainment industry and in our society. This perversion has so influenced our minds that words like sex means nothing. Sex is no longer a precious gift between a man and a woman in the covenant of marriage. Instead our media is fostering a value system that says sex is acceptable anywhere, anytime with anybody, but watch out for HIV/AIDS and STDs. It is no wonder that it is more and more difficult to protect a child from sexual predators. Descriptions of the atrocities at Penn State University and at Syracuse University are heart-breaking. By labeling it a “Sex Scandal” implies that these children were co-conspirators in the evil behavior.
Generations have been taught to keep the ghost in the closet. There is a gag order on the vast number of adults who have suffered some form of sexual abuse as a child, reinforced with shame, guilt and isolation when an individual steps out and speaks about the unspeakable.. Generations have handed down this evil heirloom of child sexual abuse to protect the perpetrator and the family name. It is not only a blemish on a family name, a family reputation but also on a school, a youth serving organization, a faith center that otherwise rational adults will go to any length to conceal the crime. These adults who sense and see evil behavior become accomplices in the crime, but keep silent are just as accountable as the perpetrator.
The issue of the risk and response to sexual abuse is drowned in an ocean of ignorance and awkwardness. Most parents are so uncomfortable with the topic of sex that they fail to become educate and then teach their children about the risk and response to sexual abuse. They fail to empower their children and properly prepare them, even though 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 4 girls will be sexually abuse before age 18. Child sexual abuse is a silent EPIDEMIC. Most adults, they fail to educate children on the definition of sexual abuse, they fail to give a child the permission to scream, run and tell a safe person, when someone crosses their personal boundaries. They believe their child is NOT at risk, but in most cases have no understanding of the devious behaviors of a predator. Unfortunately, many adults are not comfortable with their own sexuality and, frequently, talking about sex and personal boundaries with children, forces them to face their own traumatizing childhood experiences.
The excruciating pain and lifelong damage of the violation of sexual abuse is so overwhelming that many block out all memories. As the victim these memories surface as self destructive behaviors, leaving the victim hiding in the shadow of fear, guilt and shame. Many isolate and lose the ability to ever trust, and, as a result, live alive without the true caring and closeness of real friendship.
The message we send to victims when we do not intervene and stand up for justice is that “YOU don’t matter and I am not willing to be uncomfortable or inconvenienced to protect you”. Many survivors believe because the perpetrator is protected and shielded that they did something wrong. I hate to think it is intentional but let’s face it, a survivor bears an enormous amount of stigma related to sexual abuse. As a survivor I’ve received the looks of disgust, I’ve heard the words, “Why didn’t you tell?” or the famous, “You just need to get over that and put it behind you.” Either intentionally or inadvertently these messages heap guilt and shame on the victim.
What is the answer! The answer is breaking down first the barrier of ignorance and learning all you can about child sexual abuse and then taking steps to break your silence and/or support others to do so. Learn the risks, learn the signs, learn the behavior of a predator, and learn how to take a disclosure that fosters truth, honesty and healing. Voice Today is striving to the education adults through the POWER OF PROTECTION POINTS. Please care enough about the safety of a child to give 7 minutes to watch this VIDEO. Then you will see why it is important to then sponsor and attend more detailed workshops.
If you are a survivor of child sexual abuse, then today can be your day to step into truth and light of healing and break your silence. You don’t deserve to suffer another moment. You can release the shame and guilt. You were a child and had no power to protect yourself and the adults in your life failed in their responsibility to protect you. Your VOICE will give others the courage to break their silence. One VOICE at a time we can break the silence and cycle of child sexual abuse.
I have written my story of 14 years of sexual abuse at the hands of my stepfather and my long journey to healing, From Sorrows To Sapphires, and Tom Scales has written his survival through the abuse from many abusers in Terrible Things Happened To Me. Please order these books for a donation of any amount at VOICE TODAY ESHOP.
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